5 Books to Read This Summer.

Over the past few months, I've rekindled a love affair with a very favorite old pastime - reading. It's been so long since I spent my days nose-deep in a delicious fiction about someone quirky from another time, doing something wonderful or scandalous or noble. It's just the best. I've started making more time for things that I love and reading is one of those decadent indulgences. As a child I used to cuddle up with Nancy Drew and all the Judy Blumes, sit on top of the heating vent on my living room floor and pull my nightshirt over my knees, keeping all the warmth close to my body while I voraciously turned the pages. It's so funny to think about that now, because when I look at a heating vent that's what I remember - that little girl with an insatiable appetite for the alternative world of The Neverending Story, Where the Red Fern Grows and let's be honest, The Babysitters Club. I was hungry for a good story, and it's interesting to see how that desire has evolved as I've gotten older, through songwriting (and writing here!) and acting and of course, reading again! It's been a wonderful season, picking up books that I bought years ago and neglected to read, dusting them off a bit and breaking back the binding. Books are meant to be read! And read I shall! I've just finished The Age of Innocence and started Sense and Sensibility, so I'm kicking it old-school right now and loving it.

A few old (and new!) loves of mine, that I would heartily recommend to anyone looking for a summer read:

I Feel Bad About My Neck - Nora Ephron
How did Nora Ephron manage to voice every thought in the mind of every woman on Earth? She was more than a gifted writer, she was a gifted human with a heartbreaking, warm, appalling and hilarious voice. You might not think you know who she is, but you do. She was a brilliant screenwriter, penning the infamous lines from When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You Got Mail, Julie and Julia and this particular book is a wonderful compilation of essays from her life - all written in that familiar voice of hers. I loved reading this and relating to the major and minor life crises that she went through - moving from the Upper West to the Upper East side (gasp!), interning for President Kennedy, and of course, feeling bad about her aging neck. Read it. I pledge that you will love it.

East of Eden - John Steinbeck
I wished I was a part of a book club while I was reading this one, because I wanted to have conversations about the meaning of this epic generational tale. Alas, there was no one to really discuss it with, and since it's such a heavy book, it's not really the kind of thing you can bring up around people. Also, Steinbeck tends to be kind of intimidating because he was kind of a genius, so that just adds another layer of, "what did he mean?!" when he wrote certain chapters certain ways. He was a total genius. This book is super thought-provoking and not necessarily feel-good, but it makes you feel a lot of feels. It's one of my absolute favorites! If there were ever a time for a big read, summer is it.

The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
I know I sound like a dork, reading all the classics, but seriously - this book is the most elegant commentary I've ever read about narcissism and vanity. It's hilarious, chilling and salaciously smart. Everything by Oscar Wilde makes me giggle, but this one reeeeeally makes you think. He knows how to turn an argument right on its head. And that's why pretty much everyone hated him when this particular work was published.

The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho
Ah, I love this one because the story tackles self-discovery and following one's dreams - especially when they seem impossible. Perhaps you've read a lot of books like that before, but this one is different. Perhaps because this particular story tells it much more interestingly and exotically than most. And in a different time period and curious part of the world and it just makes the whole story so mysterious and alluring. I love this one.

Blog, Inc. - Joy Deangdeelert
I received this as a book when I lived in Boston, and it has been one of the most inspiring and helpful guides as I continue to evolve in this strange and wonderful venture called blogging. This is the kind of book that I continue to pick up, year after year, reading different passages and finding new inspiration every single time. Reading the same words but feeling a fresh sense of enlightenment. I love that it's peppered with stories about other creative souls who have found a passion for blogging along their journey of starting businesses, families, non-profits and careers in creative fields. And I also love it's sister book, Creative, Inc. which addresses creatives at large - full of business tips, practical guides and stories. If you're a creative person, this books will become much like your business bible :)
 

And a few honorable mentions, because these are totally worth the tears and/or laughter (and also because I can't edit and just leave these off the list) - Bossypants by Tina Fey, The Help by Kathryn Stockett and The War of Art by Steven Pressfield. All are fabulous reads.

What are you reading right now, friends? Any summer books you can recommend? Please share in the comments! I need to add to my stack of "must-devour" books :)

40 Wonderful Things About You.

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sometimes I forget that I am wonderful.

Sometimes I get busy and overwhelmed, trying to strike the unicorn balance of working and being a good mom & wife, and I easily fall prey to the lies of the world: You are not enough. And I know that it's not true, but when exhaustion intersects with circumstantial emotion, all bets are off. I usually cope with said feelings by binging on Netflix with a side of wine/ice cream/kettle corn.

Do you know that you're wonderful? If you are a living, breathing being, you are a wonder. And I want you to know that you are wonderful.

Recently I was reminded of a more restorative way to rejuvenate (than my Netflix addiction), one that I used to practice years ago and made such an immensely positive impact on me. I learned about speaking aloud positive declarations while I was in ministry school from a guest speaker, Steve Backlund. He supplied my class with a list of declarations that were scriptures from the bible. I took those scriptures and used them, but I also wrote some declarations of my own. I used to wake up and declare the scriptures and my personal declarations about my day, before the day even got started. I would usually do it in the morning when I was fixing my hair and putting on make up. The declarations were taped to my bathroom mirror, so there was no way to miss it, and I would speak each one aloud. At first it felt a little goofy, but the more I did it, the more I believed what I was saying. I want to share with you today, because I am back at this practice again and it feels so, so SO good, and I want to invite you to join me. If you need a little boost. I'm not saying you do. Here are the scriptures that I used, and here are my 40 personally-written declarations:

1. I am enough.
2. I am lovable.
3. I am a beautiful person.
4. I light up the world with my gifts.
5. The world is a gift from God and I have a meaningful place in it.
6. I am worthy.
7. Today will be a great day.
8. I cannot satisfy all of my needs, but I am responsible to see them satisfied.
9. I am enormously blessed.
10. I am capable.
11. I am moving forward.
12. It's okay to change my mind.
13. I make great decisions.
14. I don't need other people's approval.
15. I am proud of myself.
16. I make a difference in the world.
17. I am a great wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.
18. I choose to forgive those who have hurt me.
19. My body works perfectly.
20. I have a good sense of humor about the circumstances of my life.
21. I am a selfless listener.
22. I have nothing to be afraid of.
23. I am strong and healthy.
24. I am capable.
25. I am immensely loved.
26. I am a child of God.
27. I am flexible.
28. The world is a better place because I am in it.
29. I am going to make the best out of today.
30. Nothing will stop me.
31. I am consistent and adventurous.
31. I will take time to be kind to others.
32. I am an encourager to everyone around me.
33. I have every reason to be bold.
34. I am good at managing my money, my time, my talent and my resources.
35. I walk in peace.
36. I have promise.
37. I will find opportunities to be radically generous today.
38. I am cared for.
39. I have good things to say.
40. I have a voice.

Have you ever tried this type of practice? What are some declarations that you would add to this list? I would love to hear from you!

Wrestling with Dreams & Failure.

I've tried to write this post before. Many times before. I can never quite wrap this subject up with a pretty bow, so I usually step away from the topic. I don't want to write something that is lacking a resolution. Anyone else feel like that? Like there are ongoing elements in your life that need a resolution? And you know they need a resolution, yet you can't seem to muster it? I've been living without answers to some of these questions for years. This subject of dreams and failure, this is a tough one for me.

I am such a dreamer. I identify so well with dreaming big and loud. I haven't always been this way to quite this degree, but my husband has unearthed it and drawn it out of me more and more. We love dreaming about the future. We love dreaming without any restraints. We often pour ourselves a glass of something (coffee! wine! sparkling water!) and think of all the things we could do to change our world. We talk about business ideas, we discuss how to improve our lifestyle, ways to make mundane things more efficient, all sorts of endeavors that we would like to try out and explore. We dream about everything, from the minuscule to the major.

Not all of our dreams come true. We don't have endless time, money, talent or resources to make all our dreams come true, but we still allow ourselves to dream it. Because the thing is, if you can't dream it, then you certainly won't ever see that dream come true. But sometimes if you let yourself dream something big, you will see the evolution of that dream over time as it turns into something really impacting.

I'm still obviously mid-dream on so many things, but I want to shed a bit of revelation that I've come to about one of my own personal dreams.

---

Since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be an actress. It's the first dream I ever remember having. My parents were ridiculously supportive, so I had no limit to my pursuit. When I was 11 I was selected for a theatrical apprenticeship program that you had to be 16 and older to even be considered. The director told my parents she just believed in me. So my desire for the craft was fed and cultivated by a great many people who rallied their support around me. I participated in school and community theaters, and as my love for acting grew I even switched schools my junior year of high school so I could focus more on performing arts. I did not get every part I auditioned for. There was a time when I auditioned for the lead role of Snow White, and was given an ample amount of reassurance from the director that I would be selected, only to have my hopes dashed when I was notified that I would instead be playing the walking, talking Magic Mirror. Oh, the horror. I was eating humble pie. I had to work through some bitterness toward the gal who actually won the part of Snow White. It's really hard when someone gets something you really wanted, and then they end up being really really good at what they do. I learned that you can't win 'em all, especially in the acting realm. But to be honest, I got most parts I auditioned for. By the time I was in high school, my amazing drama teacher Miss Karrie coached me an incessant amount and gave me the opportunity to play extremely mature and challenging roles. I was a lucky one. And I had some promise.

In college I did not pursue theater as a major, because, well, nothing against theater majors, but I just didn't want to be so niche-focused and rule out other potential job possibilities for the future. I settled nicely into a communication program and instead took acting classes at the Professional Actors Studio Atlanta where I worked on material alongside professional actors and participated in showcases for casting directors and producers. It was an incredible growth opportunity, and with that growth I gained more confidence to put myself out there. I began auditioning for professional roles and getting some traction. I worked on music videos, corporate industrials (training videos for airlines and brands) and short films. Flash forward to a continuation of this journey, where I continued pursuing acting when my husband as I moved to Boston and finally, the pinnacle of all dreams, to New York City. I kept auditioning and kept getting great parts in short films and industrials. In New York, I landed two talent agents and a manager and I was getting sent out weekly on auditions. I was participating in showcases and meeting tons of people and even got into a training program where I was working with industry professionals weekly. I was busy. And I was having the time of my life. I was incredibly uncomfortable and challenged every single day, but it was the good kind of discomfort. The kind where I really felt like I was living, because I was making myself vulnerable in audition rooms every day. A few months into my stint in NYC, I found out I was pregnant. To say I was shocked it was understatement. I was in such a good rhythm, so I kept auditioning, but it definitely made things more challenging. I remember going in for a birth control audition, and the commercial was going to be shot a few months later, which called for me to be in a bikini, and I remember praying I wouldn't get the job. Obviously there was no way I was going to be 6 months pregnant in a bathing suit advertising the pill! Oh gosh. The memories are really flooding back now. By the time I was pregnant enough for it to show, I was tired all the time and wishing I was back home, near my family. My husband and I packed our bags and did just that, relocating back to Atlanta 8 weeks before my son Everett was born. We literally closed that chapter of our life.

I have had a lot of time to wonder about that chapter. What was it all for? Did I fail because I didn't "make it big" during the time when I had the opportunity to try? Should I have stayed up there and tried harder? Should I still be trying now? Do I want to be auditioning now? Do I still want to be an actress?

Did I fail??

I've wrestled for a few years with these questions. And honestly, nothing has really given me peace except for the measure of time I've had to let questions fade in their intensity. Only since the emotional charge has lessened, have I been able to have softened conversations with myself that aren't so harsh. Isn't it silly that we can be harsh with ourselves? It's really no way to live. Time has been the gift of this whole scenario. It's allowed me to talk myself through everything, to tell myself and believe myself that it wasn't all for nothing. Of course I wasn't a failure. Of course my journey had great purpose.

Friends, the only thing that helped me, really helped me, is time.

Time has given me more perspective, more energy, and more kindness. It's helped me recognize that my training as an actress - the vulnerability and the thick skin I developed via lots of rejection and the tenacity of going after it - those characteristics haven't left the building. They have made me who I am, shaped the way I approach challenges, and given me the confidence to try again. Failure doesn't have to be scary, because you don't really fail if you never stop trying. Listen, I'm not saying that I don't have disappointment. But I'm saying that disappointment is no longer the only feeling I have associated with this particular dream. I finally have a sense of pride, of ownership and gratitude for that season of my life. I don't have all the answers, but time has let me finish asking myself questions before jumping to conclusions about failure and hopelessness. I'm not scared of failure, but I also don't think I failed. I didn't always believe that, so time has really been my friend in showing me that truth.

I know that I could go back to that life if I wanted to. There is a growing amount of film opportunities here, with a huge new movie studio down the street (yes, Marvel is basically camped out in my hometown right now), but you know? I feel such a sense of peace with what I'm doing. I love being home with my son. I love writing. I love blogging. This venture has opened up so many unexpected, fun opportunities, and I am happily exploring and learning. I'm grateful to you, my friend, for reading, for recognizing my voice and letting me share with you. This has actually been a surprise dream (that I didn't know I had!) come true.

My friend Blake once said that dreams are like seeds. He explained that we are given lots and lots of seeds, and we should sow all the ones we want to to see grow. But he also postulated that perhaps, its not meant for all the seeds to grow. Some will grow partially and some will grow all the way. I really identify with that he said, because my dream has been a long-time-coming seed that I've sown carefully. For a long time. Perhaps it will keep growing. Perhaps it's done. I'm grateful that time has passed since I was in NYC, and with that time the pressure has passed, too. Time has been the most gracious kind of host, who has encouraged me to let go of the self-induced pressure. So that dream - it's still there. But it's not hard on me anymore. It's sort of shelved for now, not because I'm sad about it or desperate to go back to it. Its there because its still a part of me, and one day it might be an active part of me again.

---

Do you have something in your life, a previous pursuit or dream, whose memory haunts you? Even a little tiny bit? It can be hard to relive the experiences. It can be hard to have a level-headed kind of perspective. But I encourage you to give that experience a second glance. Can you pull out the gold from that memory, and pinpoint something sweet that is still serving a positive purpose in your life today? I bet if you give yourself lots of grace to overlook your so called "disappointments" with how that dream turned out, you could find a silver lining. I dare you to do it. Your little heart needs some positive closure just like everyone else. Just like me.

I want you to know that your dreams matter, they have a voice in your life, and they are part of you. Sometimes its okay to let a dream go. Maybe it will keep growing. Maybe not. Maybe it will lend all its lessons learned to a new dream.

Friends, this one dream has made me who I am. And it a lot of ways, it's still happening in me. Permission is granted for it to be what it is in my journey. :)
 

Tips for Beating Allergies.

It is full-on pollen season here in Georgia. The trees are blooming and the azaleas are vibrant, and you know how much fun I have prancing around in all of this wonder weather, but along with the stunning beauty comes the dreaded pollen. Yellowy powder and all it's wheezy, throbbing effects. If you are impacted by the pollen and deal with allergies, here are the surefire tools and natural-leaning methods in my arsenal that I use every pollen season to keep the frustrating symptoms at bay.

Buried Treasure Acute Cold and Flu Liquid.
This is actually the newest edition to my line of defense. I was introduced to Buried Treasure Acute Cold and Flu Liquid elixir by my bff Natalie. She and her husband found this really helped when they were super busy starting their business, and she swears that in the midst of lots of people getting sick around her and working endless hours, they never ever got sick. The thing about pollen season is that oftentimes the frustrating symptoms can actually lead to upper respiratory or ear infections. I start taking this liquid the very moment I have any symptoms of headache, sore throat, or runny/stuffy nose. Usually within a day the symptoms are GONE. This stuff is like magic. It's all-natural, no chemicals, and concocted entirely with herbs like frankincense and myrrh. If it was good enough for the Wise Men to deliver to Baby Jesus, then it's good enough for my sinuses.

Neti Pot.
I used to think that the Neti Pot was the weirdest device. And I was right! But truly - this thing works. I remember listening to the Bert Show (one of Atlanta's big morning radio shows) and they were talking about the strangely powerful effects of using a Neti Pot during pollen and cold/flu season. All these listeners were calling in and talking about the wonders of the Neti Pot. Now please understand - the process for using this little tool is weird. You filter warm saline water through your sinuses by essentially pouring water into one nostril and tilting your head so that the water runs out the other nostril. Not sexy. Not attractive. But so effective. It basically washes your nose from the inside out, and keeps any bad infection, buildup or pollen from settling in. We use our Neti Pots pretty religiously during pollen and cold/flu season and it had significantly reduced the sinus-related symptoms of pollen.

Diffuser + Essential Oils.
I don't sell essential oils, but these days we all probably know someone who does. I am not partial to one brand over another because I really haven't tried enough different kinds to compare them, although once I got a massage with this Doterra Wild Orange Oil and I thought I had died and gone to Heaven. It's pretty pricey though, so I try to buy oils that are a little more in the realm of "normal". I use this diffuser and essential oils in my bedroom and Everett's bedroom a lot - especially back in the day when Everett wasn't sleeping like ever. But during pollen season, I really crank up the oils to reduce symptoms of inflammation. I like to mix oils, and some of my favorite recipes are mixing this Peppermint Oil with Eucalyptus and Lavender (for relief and good sleep) and Lemon with Sweet Orange (for cleansing and clarifying). It helps us sleep more deeply, reduces the sneezing and inflammation, and it makes the room smell incredible. If you have a certain brand of oils to recommend, please leave it in the comments! I'm all ears!

Hot Water with Lemon and Honey.
I like to call this one my "granny tea". It's sooooo good, friends! When you want a break from the endless amounts of green tea and chamomile or whatever your choice hot beverage might be - try this! Brew up some hot water, squeeze a slice of lemon (or two) and drizzle and ample amount of honey. Trust me on this one, you will be hooked. This is the perfect beverage to unwind with at the end of the day, or in the case of pollen season, the perfect thing to sip on all the live long day :)

There you have it! These are my go-tos when I need to resolve a pollinated sinus situation. Any natural methods that work for you? Please make sure to share them in the comment section!

Live Like No One Else.

This weird thing has been happening. And I'm fully to blame.

Momentum.

 It started with Intentional October. I was so excited to get laser-focused on things that would help improve my overall health - sleeping more, exercising more, spending time praying and reading my bible, and focusing on my writing. And intentional October was such an awesome experience! It wasn't without its challenges or surprises. My son broke his leg during that time and of course, everything became about helping him heal, and my perfect schedule was put on the back burner. But still, I gleaned so much from the experience of making a schedule that accommodated the healthy choices and writing goals that I wanted to implement. It was a learning experience.

Then came Whole30, a food experiment that had me hyper-focused on how the foods that I put into my body really affect me. I discovered what helped me sleep better, exercise grade, rest more fully and appreciate that healthier choices actually resulted in a happier lifestyle. Whole30 was really hard because it absolutely challenged my norms- wine at night, chocolate everyday (duh), carbs when I need a fast snack. Those things weren't Whole30-approved, and breaking those habits were a lot more emotional than I ever would have thought they would be. But I am a better woman, wife and mom because of that food experiment. And we are still eating Whole30-style these days about half the time!

And then there Is Dave Ramsey, and his Financial Peace University. Stevie and I volunteered to host this finance class at our home for a small group of people at our church. It's a 9-week course that focuses on how to manage finances in a way that teaches how to save, plan for the future, get out of debt and live a fulfilled life on a budget. And you guys. This class is absolutely messing with me. Because I thought we were pretty "good" when it comes to managing our finances. We've had a budget for years, share a joint account and we meet with our financial planner once a year to "check in" and discuss our goals. However, this class has shown me the holes that we didn't realize were there, and has challenged my financial mindset - namely, the way that I feel, and therefore treat, our finances. I didn't realize the areas where I was short-sighted. Areas where I was fearful. Areas where I was foolish. Because of what I've learned over the past nine weeks, I am thinking twice when I flip through the sales at Anthropologie. I'm like, do I really need more stuff? Do I?? It's convicting, but in a great way that has me assessing how I want to plan for the near future for my family. I don't think there is anything wrong with spending money- it's a resource and it should be used. But I'm just saying- it's causing me to really think as I use those resources.

All of these things - intentional October, Whole30, Financial Peace University - they have positioned me in this mode of coming at life. Not letting life just happen, but really attacking my day, every day, with tenacity and intention. "Live like no one else" is something that Dave Ramsey quotes a lot, meaning that you adjust your life in a way that works for you and your family and planning for your future. Just because everyone buys a new car at a certain stage of life, or spends money on societal "must haves" doesn't mean that I must have it. Assessing where every dollar goes, assessing where my time is spent, assessing the foods going into my body. It's crazy hyper focus! But you know what? This crazy thing is happening because of it - momentum.

I'm sharing all of this with you for a reason. I've had my paradigm messed with over the past six months. In so many areas of my life. But because of the intention that my husband and I have set before ourselves, we are seeing momentous shifts in our finances, more writing gigs abound (for me) and we are literally, feeling healthier. We are sharpening up, and it's been kind of painful, but kind of awesome. Sometimes it's hard to recognize when you're in a season of growing, but I am extremely aware that I am mid-growth right now. I have a lot to learn (oh so much), but I really like who I am becoming more than who I was a year ago. And it feels good to actually see and sense a difference.