My Whole30 Diary. Part 3.

This is it! Week three of my Whole30 experience! You can read about why I'm doing Whole30 here.

Day 15.
Breakfast: Egg scramble. Coffee. Half a grapefruit.
Lunch: Salad with Greek toppings. Sliced apple.
Dinner: Leftover pulled beef with green onion and homemade ranch dressing. Coconut cauliflower rice.

The cauliflower rice left much to be desired. It was NOT GOOD. On the hunt for a better recipe.

I am a little bit sick of my Greek salads everyday. But I've got all the ingredients so it's easiest (and most budget-friendly!) to just keep making them.

Day 16.
Breakfast: Frittata. Coffee. Half a grapefruit.
Lunch: Salad with Greek toppings.
Snack: Cherry Larabar.
Dinner: Stir fry with onions, green, yellow and red peppers, chicken sausage and red potatoes.

Oh my. This dinner was THE JAM. Who would have known that such an easy dinner would be so delicious? Definitely putting this one on my list to make again. In like two days. Because seriously, I've been slaving away in the kitchen for weeks and this dinner meal was much simpler and quicker than usual. Praise report.

Day 17.
Breakfast: Frittata made with last night's leftover onions, peppers, sausage and potatoes. Coffee. Grapefruit.
Snack: Apple with almond butter.
Lunch: Chicken salad with Greek toppings.
Dinner: Baked chicken with homemade pesto and kale chips.

I JUST WANT TOAST. GIVE ME TOAST.

I thought I was getting on board with the Whole30 today. Then I got a hankering for toast that ailed my soul and left me wanting. And wanting. And WANTING.

Day 18.
Breakfast: Frittata with onions, mushrooms, spinach and chicken sausage.
Lunch: I honestly can't remember. But I'll bet it was salad!
Dinner: DINNER OUT! FINALLY!

For our date night out, Stevie and I split the perfect order: The skinny dip bison burger from Ted's Montana Grill with no bun, and a side of mustard, avocado and tomato. Oh, and a sweet potato with literally nothing on it. It still tasted like pie though. And the Big Sky salad with salmon and bacon, hard boiled egg, tomato, avocado and red wine vinegar.

I just want to say it. We should have eaten out so much sooner. I had prepared every single meal from scratch for 18 days in a row, and I was so burned out. I didn't think we could eat out anywhere, but after talking to a few Whole30 veterans (who shared their Ted's orders), I felt confident we could make it happen. And it was the best night I've had in, I don't know, 18 nights! It just felt SO GOOD to not have to clean up the kitchen.

Plus, we got coffee and tea at Starbucks afterwards, walked around, browsed the William-Sonoma clearance sale and Stevie secretly bought me the waffle maker I've been wanting for months! We were walking out of the store and the lady slyly slipped a bag into his hand, along with his credit card. He was like, "It was the last one left in your color." That man. Such a good man. My whole kitchen is red (well, all my appliances are red), so it wouldn't have been a big deal to get a normal one, but he made sure I got that red waffle maker :)

It's technically a gift for Everett, since he begs for waffles every morning. We are letting him open it for Valentines Day. Unless we cave and he opens it sooner.

Basically? Best date ever. Also? Cheapest date ever. No dessert and no alcohol? I was amazed at our bill. Take that, sugar and booze! (Don't worry, I still miss those things)

Day 19.
Breakfast: Frittata. Hot Tea.
Lunch: Chicken salad with random vegetables.
Dinner: Mexican taco salad with ground beef, spinach, salsa, guacamole and homemade ranch dressing.

Again, this was a GOOD dinner. A surprising one. I love making traditional taco salads, so I figured this would suck in comparison, but alas, I judged too quickly. The addition of the ranch dressing added just the right kick and it was one of those meals where we both went back for seconds.

Day 20.
Breakfast: We hosted brunch at our house with some friends. We made them "normal" food (including biscuits, quiche, and fruit salad), and for ourselves, we made a frittata (I know, you're shocked) with mushrooms, onions, and chicken sausage. Coffee and juice all around.
Lunch: Breakfast was kind of for lunch, you know?
Snack: Apples.
Dinner: Crockpot pulled beef with green onions and homemade ranch dressing.

Day 21.
Breakfast: Quick egg scramble. Fruit to go.
Lunch: Tuna salad on top of a spinach salad. Assorted veggies.
Dinner: Leftover crockpot pulled beef. Because it's SO GOOD. I kind of wish it was a bottomless crockpot.

Overall Recap:
There is no more anger. There is just a general sullenness about how much work it is for me to prepare healthy meals every 3-4 hours.

I still get tired from time to time, but I do feel a sustained amount of energy during times where I would usually crash.

I am able to wake up quickly, completely clear-minded, without that foggy, grogginess. I guess that could be attributed to this Whole30 gig.

I can tell a difference in my physical body that I haven't been eating sugar or drinking alcohol, because my clothes are fitting more loosely. This makes me realize that there is no quick fix to actually losing weight and getting toned - it's just a matter of doing the work. I have no idea if I've actually lost weight though, because I haven't weighed myself. That wasn't my #1 goal in doing this, either. It's just a perk.

Unfortunately, seeing my skin clear up was one of my top goals, and I don't feel like I've seen major improvement in that department. I'll keep hoping.

Am I glad I'm doing this? Yes. I am gratefully annoyed.

Anyone doing Whole30 want to chime in? How's it going for you?

P.S. Part 1 and Part 2 of my Whole30 diary, in case you're interested!

Home Tour: Living Room.

I'm so excited to share this space with you today! Since we bought our first home and moved in this past summer, we have been buying, returning and rearranging the furniture in our place to make the space our own. Sometimes it takes a minute. Over Christmas I rearranged everything again and it finally feels like we are using this space for the reasons we like. And it feels so good :) You know, like home.

Goals for this room:
We wanted this space to feel clean, open and uncluttered. I love the built-in shelves and the painted fireplace. We purposely didn't put our TV in this room for a few reasons. First, it's open to the kitchen and I knew I would have it on all the time while I was cooking if I had that option. I love to cook alongside Giada. Second, I really wanted this room to feel like a family space, where we hang out by the fire (when Everett is asleep), where we read, work on our laptops, take naps, and stare at our yard through the french doors. I wanted to enjoy the natural light and the high ceilings. I wanted this space to be kind of dreamy and peaceful. And it really, truly feels that way now.

We all love this room for it's non-TV purposes. Everett has a big bin of toys alongside the love seat (tucked away so it's not an eyesore), so he is constantly dragging them out all over the floor and playing on the big cozy rug (which we got on crazy sale via Rugs USA, you have to check them out!) He also loves to stare out the window at all the birds in the yard. Have I told you about all the birds in my yard? I love birds. I need a bird passport.

Stevie loves to steal a corner of the couch early in the morning to read his bible. Along with a steaming mug of any kind of tea. This is his favorite way to get the work day started, with some peace and quiet and Proverbs.

I love to read in here, too, though I wish I were doing more of it. When I let myself, this is where I will stretch out for a 20-minute snooze.

What you see:
Couches: Bought with the house, and I really can't find a tag to indicate the brand, sorry!
Rug: Rugs USA
Art Print (above the fireplace): Target
Chairs: Home Goods
Pillows: Ross and Target
Blanket: Target
Mirror: IKEA
Lamp: Gifted

On the Built In Shelves:
On the left:
Art Print: Jenny Highsmith
Plant: Winter Cactus
Framed Fabric: Minted
Framed Ship Print: Jay Zinn Art
Carved Elephant from Kenya
Lantern: Home Goods

On the right:
Sailboat Photo: Stevie took in San Francisco
Gold Frame (without picture): Found on the sidewalk in New York. Such a good day to find someone else's trash :)
Peacock Plate: T.J. Maxx
Candlesticks: Gifted
Custom Name Print: One Magnolia Lane
Top Photo: Stevie took in Venice :)

This room makes me so happy. In fact, it's my favorite room in the house (which is why I wanted to share it first). We still have much, much more to do in our home, but who doesn't? It's such a process. Once we actually finish making everything the way we love it, it will probably be time to move again. Happy Monday, friends!

My Whole30 Diary. Part 2.

This is the continued documentation of my Whole30 experience. You can read about why I'm doing Whole30 here.

Day 8.
Breakfast: Omelet. Coffee. Fruit.
Lunch: Chicken Salad, greek style.
Dinner: Salmon cakes, roasted red pepper sauce, sweet potato.

Day 9.
Breakfast: Frittata (you can see the recipe here). Coffee. Fruit.

This is a strange day, because I actually wake up craving black coffee. Just black. No intense craving for the sugar in it. And it almost tastes good today. WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE WORLD.

Lunch: Greek chicken salad.
Snack: Apple with almond butter.
Dinner: Pork Chop with Spiced Apple Sauce and Kale Salad.

This dinner meal has quickly become one of my favorites on Whole30. And really - it's that spiced apple sauce. It's so surprising and so RIGHT on a pork chop. Plus, I feel like June Cleaver cooking up a pork chop in my kitchen. I mean, where are my pearls. Where are my heels.

Day 10.
Breakfast: Frittata. Coffee. Fruit.
Lunch: Roasted tomato soup (without the white wine - everything else is Whole30 compliant!) and a Greek chicken salad.

I have my friend Kathleen over today and I am somehow talking her into doing Whole30. I'm not even sure if I mean to be evangelizing the Whole30 gospel, but I hear myself talking her through all my reasons for doing it - and she is excited.

I suddenly realize I'm hooked. I might hate the pain of this wellness experiment, but I am hooked.

Dinner: Herb Chicken Meatballs and Tomato sauce. I forgot to make the spaghetti squash. Oops.

Day 11.
Breakfast: Frittata. What else as this point.

I do find myself longing for toast. Just a simple piece of toast would really mix up the boringness of eggs every.single.day.

Lunch: Leftover Roasted Tomato Soup. An apple with almond butter. A handful of sunflower seeds, which I'm convinced is not for filling up humans.
Dinner: Baked Chicken with roasted red pepper sauce. And something green.

Day 12.
Breakfast: Frittata. Fruit. Coffee.

I almost like Whole30 today. And I'm sort of actually craving black coffee again.

Lunch: A bowl of tomato soup, a sliced apple and a handful of sunflower seeds.
Dinner: Roasted spaghetti squash with herbed chicken meatballs and tomato sauce.

This strange thing happens after dinner - neither of us is craving something sweet. We ALWAYS crave something sweet after dinner, but tonight, nope. It's so weird. We watched an old episode of The Office and went straight to bed. Because there's nothing else fun to eat and drink.

Day 13.
Breakfast: Egg scramble with avocado, chicken sausage and tomatoes. Half a grapefruit. Black coffee.
Morning Snack: A sliced green apple with almond butter. Note: I am getting really, really sick of almond butter.

I am suuuuuuper hungry today. Like, so hungry I could eat a bus. I am hungry every hour around the clock and it dawns on me that I might need to be drinking more water. With all this meal prep, I'm forgetting to drink as much water as usual.

Lunch: A salad with avocado, sliced tomatoes, sunflower seeds, olives and chicken.
Dinner: Oven-baked Salmon with roasted red pepper sauce, sweet potato and kale chips.

I really can't lie. These dinners are all delicious. There has maybe been one that has only been so-so. I am just going by the book here, and preparing recipes that are on the plan. There are a zillion different dressings, vinaigrettes and sauces so you shouldn't get bored finding something to top your dinner protein with. It just takes some extra prep to actually make a dressing from scratch. It's not a big deal, but it's a deal. I find myself making 1-2 per week and that seems to work out well.

Day 14.
Breakfast: Quick eggs scramble and a banana.

Church day! Busy busy busy. The three of us are out the door before 7:30 and that feels like a miracle in itself. Then we have to figure out how to sustain the next few hours outside of the comfort of our own kitchen.

We help volunteer at our church before the service by hosting a breakfast bar for the other early morning volunteers - which means we provide Panera bagels and Chobani yogurt to the team. Everett happily gobbles up a half a bagel with honey-walnut cream cheese and I find myself very jealous of my son's good fortune. To not be on this wellness experiment. I almost drool.

Snack: Black coffee and a Lara Bar.
Lunch: Salad with leftover Salmon and random vegetables I rummage up out of the fridge.
Dinner: Slowcooked Beef with homemade ranch dressing and green onions, sweet potatoes and kale chips.

This beef is incredible. It's so good I swear I've made a mistake and accidentally added something non-Whole30 into the crockpot. I check my recipe like three times, but no, I've done everything according to the book. It's moments like these when I am convinced it's totally possible to eat delicious food on this plan. And then I like Whole30 again. (Seriously, this one is so good that I will share the recipe next week - I am only going to share my favorites with you!)

Overall Recap:
The anger from last week has subsided, although I still feel a steady amount of annoyance pretty much all the time. The sugar cravings have dramatically decreased, although I still have them from time to time. Having Stevie help take the lead on breakfast and lunch (when he could, according to his work schedule) really helped lighten my load and made this week feel more sustainable than last. My energy levels don't seem to have increased, although I am waking up three times a week to hit the gym early in the morning. Not sure if I could have done that a month ago, although I am making some adjustments to my sleep schedule, and trying to get into bed much earlier these days. There's nothing fun to munch on at night anyways. Overall, I am really glad I'm doing this, but it still feels hard. Really really hard. Like, really really hard.

What am I dreaming of? Going out to eat Mexican food that somebody else cooks and drinking a margarita.

P.S. Part 1 of my Whole30 diary.
 

Thoughts on Another Baby.

Stevie and Everett are my whole world. They are the hands I hold, whether we're in our back yard or at the park or on the city sidewalk. These two kindred spirits are my sweethearts, my heartbeat, my greatest voyage. They are mine. And I am almost painfully grateful for the gift it is to serve these two gentlemen with my life. Feminists, no need to cringe - I am treated like royalty by these two. We've got a mutual admiration society going in our household. We honor and serve one another, and my hope everyday is that Everett is catching on to that culture. Taking the cues from his Dad and learning from his mom. It's such a privilege, this opportunity to shape his worldview and raise his understanding. I am just in awe that I get to do this parenthood thing.

But with all of that love and adoration and basking in the adventure, I am often so exhausted I go numb. I am baffled by the enormity of what it takes to be a fully-present wife and mama. I am dumbfounded by how other women do it. How are they doing this so gracefully? Of course this leads to comparison and mom-guilt, which is stupid and unproductive, but it's real. How do women who work full-time do it all? How does that mama of 4 children do it all? I can't seem to keep my house clean, let alone manage all the other needs of this gig. These two boys have completely absorbed my life, and every last drop of my energy has gone into their happiness and wholeness.

Any mom can tell you that having a baby is hard. And any mom who chooses to breastfeed can tell you that choice is a sacrifice. And any mom whose baby won't take a bottle will tell you that it's an alarming scenario, because that means you can never ever EVER leave your child. And I will say "Amen" to all of those circumstances, because that was my situation when Everett came into my life. He was such a surprise. Such an immense blessing. The greatest gift I never asked for. And the most unraveling of my psyche. Being a mom is hard you guys. Don't get me wrong - there is nothing I would rather do than what I'm doing right now. But it's not a passive gig, having a child. It's not all Instagram cuteness and snuggles and reading books. It's sleep deprivation and body fluids absolutely everywhere and doctors visits that scare the hell out of you and being faced with decisions that you're 100% not ready to make. That's what having a baby is.

Is it crazy that I kind of want another one?

Yes. It is absolutely ludicrous.

I am grateful for the past six months. I feel like the pendulum has swung back in my direction, gifting me with my brain and my senses again. The first year of Everett's life was so intense and full-on, I felt like I was in survival mode to keep my head above water. I felt moments where I was tanking, and I often reached out to my right and my left for help. I am so grateful for the lifeboats all around me, those sweet souls whose words of truth and encouragement kept me afloat. And now I feel like I am really driving my ship again, doing my very best to steer in the direction I want to go.

Which is why, I'll be very honest, the thought of having another baby is a little frightening.

When I see my son playing with his little cousins, and I know he would thrive with a sibling in the house. Especially one that is close-ish in age. And when he sees other kids that are younger than him, he points and yells, "Baby! Mommy, baby!!" and is just so thrilled. I am certain that he would benefit enormously from a little sibling. And Stevie and I want a big family. We are both super close with our siblings and feel so much strength and camaraderie in those relationships. I certainly want Everett to experience the closeness and life-long companionship that is the gift of sibling-hood.

But honestly, it feels scary to go back to newborn land.

Is that selfish? I guess it probably is.

It's not just my selfishness that causes me to pause. It's also the fear that I won't love another baby as fiercely as my first. I LOVE my Everett so much. His presence in my life is the most illuminating gift I've ever been given. He causes me to see the world completely differently; so much better. He is hilarious and smart and silly and super free. I can already tell he is confident. He is poised to devour the world with his curiosity and humor. I can already sense his weaknesses. Even when he is prostrate on the floor, in an all-out tantrum, I can't help but giggle a little bit, because this boy has some fight in him. And I genuinely love his will and that spirited nature of his. He certainly won't go silently into the night. Heck, Everett didn't go silently into the night for the first 6 months of his life. As in, HE DID NOT SLEEP FOR 6 MONTHS STRAIGHT. But truly. How can I possibly love another little person just as much as this gorgeous, game-changing boy of mine? I mean, SERIOUSLY. What if the love just isn't as strong for another? How can my heart possibly expand any more? These might seem like silly questions, but they are the questions in my heart.

I'm just being really transparent. And my transparency is melting all over the weakest places in my heart and leaving me to wonder - will I ever, really, be ready though? I wasn't ready the first time around.

Are we ever really ready. For anything. Ever.

I have no poignant way to wrap up this conversation, because it is an ongoing dialogue in my head. But I am interested in hearing from those of you who decided to continue growing your family. I would love to hear the rationale behind the timing of your decision, how you spaced your kids apart (if you had the luxury of planning it!), and your fears, feelings, and joy about the outcome of those choices.

I know one thing for certain. I am ridiculously blessed to be Everett's mom. Best thing I've ever done with my time, ever. EVER. I guess that's kind of my answer right there, isn't it?

Snowpocalypse?

We had this funny dusting of snow this weekend. It was supposed to be barbaric weather. But it wasn't. For Georgians, any amount of frosty accumulation is reason for panic and madness and obviously, for all the school systems to close. As in, they don't always close but when they ultimately don't, kids are SO MAD ABOUT IT. Because no matter how much (or in our case, how little) snow dusts from the sky, these Georgia kids want to dive headfirst into their backyards and build a snowman. Doesn't matter if that snowman is only two inches tall. You can't deny southerners their chance at a winter wonderland.

So this past weekend it snowed, and honestly, it was seriously cold. It was as cold as our Cambridge and New York days, hovering around 27 degrees for more than a day. And it was windy. Those conditions, along with the freezing rain, turned the roads to ice, and then finally crescendoed into a Saturday morning of snowfall. So for all the silly teasing about Georgians going nutso over just a bit of winter weather, there really was reason for staying in and hunkering down.

Well, there was reason for it for about 3 hours. Then the sun came out and melted the snow. Oh Georgia.

But for those three hours! We enjoyed the snow as if we still lived in the Northeast. We made a big hearty diner-style breakfast (which was a bit challenging, since we are still on Whole30), and then got outside to play. We attempted to take our golf cart out to a park, but after being there for under 2 minutes, Everett flipped out and we had to hightail it home. That child wouldn't wear gloves. And it was blistery, blustery cold. So yeah, I kind of get it. I snuggled him really good on that g-ride home. By the way, he calls the golf cart the g-ride. Cutest thing ever.

But there was some yard frolicking and football throwing and yes, even some hot chocolate making. For my bro-in-law. Since we can't have it. But I made sure to take a reeeeeeally deep whiff of it before I passed him that holy mug. Gosh, this Whole30 is getting hard. I'll stop whining though. Pictures!!!

I know the entire East Coast was hit with this particular winter storm. What did you do this weekend during the "Snowpocolypse"? Hope you stayed warm and toasty, friends!

P.S. - Tomorrow I'm having a little mom chat about babies. So stay tuned, if you're into that kind of thing.