On Why I'm Doing Whole30. And What Happens on Day 3.

So I am doing Whole30 (which I mentioned in my resolutions post), a wellness plan that focuses on lots of protein, healthy fats, fruits and veggies. The program's purpose is to target individual's food habits and retrain our emotional attachment to food. It calls for a total elimination of all the fun foods in my life, like sugar and wine and bread and cheese and grains.

No wine, guys.

No grilled cheese.

Oh, and no pizza. It's like the freaking apocalypse.

I feel excited about the potential outcome of this program, because I read the book and the cook book and I believe all the wonderful benefits that come from eating so clean. I've had friends and family complete the 30-day program (and the extra 12-day reentry), and they have felt an increase in overall clarity and sharpness, amazing amounts of energy, a newfound sense of discipline and control in their lives, clearer skin, better digestion, and just overall wonderfulness. Who doesn't want that?

I want that. That's why I decided to do it.

But oh. It comes at a cost, guys.

I am on day 3 of Whole30. And I feel *so* angry.

SO ANGRY.

I don't know why I am so mad. I feel really really mad though. I'm tired of reading through every single ingredient of every single food I used to cook with. And realizing so many of my go-to "healthy" ingredients are loaded with sneaky preservatives and artificial sweeteners. And don't even get me started on how long I've been in the kitchen. I'm like a kitchen slave. This is what it must have felt like to be a woman in the 50's, and home every day, just making those pork chops and vegetables and waiting for her man to come home blah blah blah. This doesn't work in the modern world! We don't just stay home all day to cook! And this is coming from someone who LOVES to cook.

What's happening to me.

I'm not trying to be angry. I even reached out to some friends because I felt so angry. Not at anyone or anything, but just a general, blanketing sense of fogginess and annoyance. The consensus is that this particular feeling is part of the detox of the program. It's fascinating to me, because I am such a healthy eater and mindful cook. So the fact that I'm detoxing and it feels this powerful, this soon, is a little mind-blowing. Slightly concerning. And annoying.

The final nail in the coffin is that I kind of had to force Stevie to do Whole30 with me. It's so much better if couples do it together, because there is a lot of food prep and a need for a big commitment to the new routines and it just makes sense when you're eating meals together. So he was on the fence and I forced him to read a few chapters and he was still all, "I don't know. I don't really get WHY we would do this. I need more conviction." He finally got on board because, what else is he going to do? I'm the primary chef in this house. And you know that guys? I'm on Day 3 of feeling crummy and he feels AMAZING. Yesterday he said, "It's weird, because we usually eat really healthy anyway. But the fact that I feel SO GOOD after just a few of these cleaner meals is really compelling. Like, this program works." And you guys, every time he talks about how amazing he feels, I kind of want to punch him.

That's not a normal feeling for me, in case you were wondering.

I generally love his sunny nature.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

So there you have it. I'm on on Day 3 and I have 27 to go. Plus the 12 reentry days, if I choose to do those. Bet you can guess which way I'm leaning on that one.

I'll be sharing some Whole30 recipes this month that hopefully rock my world and don't taste like a boot. I've actually found a few that I really enjoy, even in the midst of my irritability. So there you have it.

Who's done Whole30? What was your experience? Anyone currently doing it? Let's talk recipes!

P.S. - My Whole30 Diary from the first week.

My 2016 Resolutions.

Oooooh MONDAY. I'm ready for you this time. I hope your weekend was a blast, friends. We spent the weekend cleaning out Christmas (I might have dragged it out a bit) and rearranging all our furniture. Because, January. I'll have to post some of our living room photos over the next few weeks, because I am really liking our new set up. But that's not what today is about at all.

Resolutions, guys! Resolutions!! I am feeling so motivated! This is one of my favorite times of year, because the slate is clean and the mind is clear and there is NOTHING holding me back. Except for the limitations I put on myself.

Some of you might remember my Intentional October journey, which really kick-started my personal motivation and helped me develop a bit more discipline in some areas of my life that were lacking. Not all of those disciplines have stuck around, but I am ready to enact (most) of them again, because I felt so amazing when I was in that mode. Waking up super early, spending time stretching and reading the bible and writing before Everett even made a peep. It was glorious. And going to bed early, NOT watching TV, reading books. It sounds so silly and simple. But I never felt so good. My mind was clear, my body was rested, and I felt really energetic. As my bro-in-law Brent would say, I was running on Tiger Blood. I think that means something really good.

So Intentional October is following me throughout January. And I know it's going to make a big different in the rest of my resolutions... Here they are.

Food.
Clean up my diet. Prepare healthier, delicious meals for myself and my family.

Why? Because I want to live long and be really strong. We eat pretty healthy as a family, and mostly cook at home, but there is definitely room for improvement. I love to cook, but I find myself in a rut a lot of the time, and I tend to fall back on making the same comfort foods when I don't know what else to make. As a way to kick some bad habits and create some healthier ones, Stevie and I are beginning the Whole30 challenge TODAY, and I welcome anyone who wants to join me. It's a 30-day wellness eating plan (NOT a diet), focusing on whole foods such as protein, vegetables and fruits. There is a ton of wonderful info about it up on the site, and I found this book and this cook book extremely enlightening as I made my plan.

Fitness.
Gym 2X per week. Cardio 2X per week.

I have the time. There is always time. I just have to manage my time more efficiently to make this commitment a non-negotiable one in my schedule. That's what it's really all about with any of these resolutions, right? Make them appointments in your planner, things that can't be bumped by other commitments.

If I can hit the gym on the days that Everett is at "school" and take him on jogs/walks (usually over to his favorite park) on other days of the week, then we would be golden. It sounds easy, but over the past several weeks, the crazy amounts of rain and freezing cold windy weather has really cramped our healthy, outdoorsy style. I've actually been squeezing in some of Tracy Anderson's quick shape-up videos in my living room and I am loving them! She is so intense and so good.

Finances.
Budget and save better than ever.

We bought a house this year. That's the biggest item I've ever bought. By far. And along with that comes the desire to make changes and decorate and blah blah blah - basically I want to empty our bank account into our home design budget. In an effort to NOT blow the budget and instead save even more responsibly than ever, we have decided to host a Dave Ramsey Financial Freedom course at our house with some friends from church. By host, I mean be the host house. We are in no way advising friends on finances haha, that's Dave's job. But I am excited for the camaraderie and making a really strategic plan for our budget. We love using our budget tool, YNAB to keep track of our expenses and stay on track, but there is always room to be more disciplined and strategic. We want to be generous people, excellent stewards of what we have, and have a healthy mindset when it comes to our finances. So we begin our course this week! Wahoo. Oh adulthood. I never in my life thought I would be excited about a FINANCE class.

Favorites.
Make more music.

You know that I love to write. But you might not know that writing music is how Stevie and I fell in love. Yes, you can groan while imagining my googly face right now. A good ten years ago, we were writing music together and drinking Starbucks apple cider and those lyrics in my notebook turned into moments of love. Before and after we were married, we had the privilege of playing, singing and leading worship together at our church, and spent a ton of our free time writing and developing music. When we moved to Boston and he went to grad school and I pursued acting in NYC and then we HAD A BABY and bought at house, music kind of took a backseat. But it's something that is so intrinsic to who we are and we miss it. A lot. So we are putting it back in the front seat and making time to develop our sound once again. We are still hammering out the details of what this goal looks like - do we want to have written 100 songs by the end of the year? That was a resolution goal of our friend John a few years ago, and he totally slam dunked it. Such an inspiration. Do we want to play in coffee shops/bars? Do we want to record an EP? Haha we are in the dreaming phase again. But we do know we are dedicating an evening a week to it. And we shall see how this artistic side of ourselves develops once again :)

There it is! I feel pretty vulnerable putting my resolutions out there for everyone to see every year, but I know that it will help solidify my commitment to them. I am using my handy dandy self-made proverb to encourage myself and keep my head on straight. You know, along with the actual Proverbs :)

How are your resolutions stacking up? Any resolution-keeping tips?

P.S. - If you haven't already taken the reader survey, I would love it if you would take 2 minutes to share what you think about the blog! And many thanks to all of you who have already taken it - I've been reading the results as they come in. Your words and suggestions are speaking to my heart, so thank you. xox

Reader Survey - Your Chance to TALK.

Happy Friday to you! Today I want to give you an opportunity to take a reader survey. As I develop content for 2016, I am very interested in what you think about my little corner of the internet. I want to know more about who you are, why you read Oy! and what kind of content you would love to see here in the future.

Take the Oy! Reader Survey Here.

To be completely honest and transparent with you, this blog has just grown. When I first started blogging in 2012, I had no plan for it, other than to share with my friends and family what my post-college life was like in freezing cold Boston while we lived there. As we have moved cities and the years have grown us, this little personal journal has expanded its reach and allowed me some really surprising and exquisite opportunities.  I love partnering with rad brands and bringing them in front of you, I love hosting giveaways for you and I love the opportunity to grow myself as a writer. I love sharing the celebrations and challenges, I love encouraging you and I cherish the encouragement I've received from you. Blogging has been one of the most vulnerable exercises in discipline, creativity, consistency and responsibility. I never would have imagined that I would be a blogger - an oversharer on the Internet! But. It isn't really that to me - it's truly become something so much richer, more valuable and more fulfilling that I could have ever conjured. I've forged delightful relationships with people all around the world, discovered the powerful camaraderie of this community (that's you!) and had the privilege of delving into new pools of opportunity by partnering with brands and writing for other publications. I never would have thought blogging would take me on this path. But here I am! And I intend to keep doing this for as long as it makes sense and brings me immeasurable joy.

As this forum grows, I want to make sure you know how important you are to me. You, who have been part of this journey for the past 3 years or for the past 10 minutes. Your engagement speaks volumes to me. Remember, I'm the one on the other side of this screen, often pouring my heart out in essay form and meticulously editing photos. You are the one who has gotten to know me and my family pretty darn well. But I don't have the privilege of knowing you on that same level. I want to! I want to know what's going on in your head and your heart.

Which is why I created this survey. I want to hear from you - what do you love about this space and what do you want more of? What do you want less of? Yes, I want you to tell me! This is your time to weigh in (although you always have the opportunity to weigh in, that's what those comment boxes are for :) Just remember, I am a real person, and I have feelings, so be gentle with your suggestions and input. If you would take a few minutes to fill out this anonymous 10-question survey, I would really love it. If I could buy you a fancy whipped latte treat while you take it, I totally would. I can't really do that for all of you. But I can promise - I will read every response and forge my direction in a way that is honest. I trust that you understand this space must evolve to stay fresh and relevant. I want that and I want you to be part of that growth. If I haven't gushed over you enough, please hear my message: I want you. I love you. Take my survey as if it's a bouquet of internet flower seeds and trust that I will grow that mess of flowers for you.

Without further adieu, thanks for engaging and taking this Oy! Reader Survey. A virtual round of your favorite Starbucks beverage is on me :)

Why You Should Create a New Year's Resolution Proverb.

New Year's resolutions can be so daunting. It always feels like a long laundry list of reactive items - eat better, exercise more, watch less TV, read more books, etc. It just seems like a reaction to bad behavior. Which makes the resolutions seems a bit like punishment. I'm not a self-punisher type. I don't get motivated by that kind of pain. So I took some time to really think during the gap week between Christmas and New Years about resolutions. The ones I made last year, and how they worked out for me. I actually did accomplish them, each in unique ways. It's always funny and a little embarrassing to look back on previous resolutions, because I personally am always like, "Really?? That was a goal of mine?!" But it was. I'm learning to own my stuff.

As for the resolutions themselves - last year's were so whimsical it still makes me laugh. I actually did a fair amount of bird watching, I watercolor painted greeting cards and mailed them out to friends, I definitely exercised more than I did the previous year (when I was pregnant, haha), and I vastly improved the function, aesthetic and content of this blog. Those were all my resolution goals from last year, and I made great strides in all those areas. Pat on the back, Kristen.

Looking ahead, I have so many ideas for 2016. My mind is spilling over like a bowl full of punch, and I am splashing all over the places the past few days, spewing out ideas to Stevie every other hour. Which is good. I feel like a Pantone color book of swatches - so many shades and tints and so many ideas and they're all beautiful and fascinating and exotic and exciting and how can I possibly anchor all of these?! So I'm trying to take some deep breaths, and you know, edit. But I will say that I've finally honed in on my proverb/mantra/motto (choose your favorite term) for the New Year, and I feel an enormous amount of conviction in it.

Simplify everything.

Be brave and know that you belong.

Follow your instinct.

You can totally make mistakes.

Be excellent and intentional in everything.

These five sentences are my guidepost. I will have to remind myself of them over and over again, but they will serve as my cornerstone encouragement for the year. These words just strike the right chord in my heart.

Why should you create a New Year's Resolution Proverb?

1. To encourage yourself in moments of doubt.

2. To strengthen yourself in moments of weakness.

3. To remind yourself of who you are. And why you're here.

4. And because tailoring your own Proverb totally makes your resolutions feel more significant. Am I right?

Figuring out your Proverb is actually a lot easier than it seems. Don't think, just let a few words flow. Sometimes our convictions are just on the tip of our tongue, or the forefront of our mind. We just have to give ourselves a bit of permission to encourage ourselves. Isn't that kind of funny? It's so easy to encourage our friends and loved ones, but ourselves? Sometimes we have a tricky time with it. Just do it! Figuring out your Proverb (or "guidepost") will help point you towards your goals every single time.

Or if you're having writer's block, you can totally use mine. I love sharing.

How are you feeling about New Years?! How are your resolutions shaping up? Does having a Proverb seem like a strange concept, or does that totally make sense to you? Talk to me!

Forgiving Yourself.

Resolutions are so fleeting, friends. Which is why I've really taken some time to think through mine this time around. And as I've been making little lists all over the house for things I need to do, buy, get rid of, replace - something kind of significant hit me.

I've been weighed down by some self-imposed guilt.

Some of you might think, well, what's new? Self-guilt is so obviously a part of our lives, as women and especially as moms.

But you guys! It shouldn't be. We shouldn't be walking around with a tally in our heads, of what we didn't accomplish for the day. It's self-sabotage. And it's working! Do any of you do that? Am I alone in this? I know I'm not. I can't be.

Dishes didn't get done.
House looks trashed.
Blog post didn't get posted.
Didn't send out enough pitch emails today.
Did I play enough with Everett? Does he feel well-loved by me today?
Didn't make a healthy dinner. Grilled cheese.
Clearly didn't exercise. Gym? What gym??
Didn't spend enough quality time with Stevie. Does he feel well-loved by me today?

Do I feel well-loved by me today??

The questions and judgements are dizzying. And they didn't come from anyone else. No one asked me those questions. No one pointed that finger at me. Except for me.

Sometimes I'm hard on myself. But that's not a cute realization. It's not a form of humility, being hard on yourself. It doesn't sharpen me into being a better person. And it certainly doesn't inform my marriage, my motherhood, my friendships or my work in a healthy way. In fact, over time, this way of thinking will drain my energy and creativity for all those entities.

So before I even think about goals, or resolutions, or dreams for the new year, I need to level with myself.

Are you ready to level with yourself?

I've been thinking a lot about this. If I'm going to make any kind of difference in my personal life this year, probably the best thing I can do is start with forgiveness. I need to be good to myself.

I forgive me. For sometimes crapping out on stuff.

I am going to try to do better this year. I might not do better, but I am giving myself permission to start with a fresh, clean slate. A clean, bright horizon for new possibilities. I am not going to be weighed down by what I "should have done better/more of/less of" in 2015. That list is long. Whatever. I am visualizing that long list. And now I am visualizing throwing that list in the trash.

Actually, I just slam dunked it. In some really fresh Nikes.

I encourage you to forgive yourself today. There is nothing that is more freeing, more illuminating, and more nourishing than being really good to yourself. Recognizing where your strengths ran out in the past. Coming to terms with the areas where you made mistakes. Understanding what held you back from being your best version of you. Gossip, love of money, lack of money, fear, fear of rejection, dreams lost, doors closed, relationships ending badly - whatever it may be, it's truly in the past now. And the best you can do for you is to see it for what it is, acknowledge its part of your journey, and say goodbye. Forgive others, if you need to. Forgive yourself, most definitely.

And now. There is nothing holding you back from running fast and strong into the rising blue-skied horizon. That horizon is yours. And you can run (in some really fresh Nikes) toward all the goals bursting forth in your heart. Without resentment. Without punishment. Without that gnawing self-sabotage lurking just behind you.

Join me. Begin this year by being really, really good to yourself.